Today is Monday, and that’s when I usually catch up on career stuff—check out the NBC job boards, see if there are any Writer’s Assistant positions open, send out thank you notes. So, in the spirit of The Tonight Show, I thought I could use this cover letter to write my weekly thank you notes. Is that cool? Thank you so much.
Thank you, @NBCUniCareers, for specifying that this job post was for The Tonight Show. I had originally thought it was for SNL, and would have embarrassingly mistitled my LinkedIn message to Lorne Michaels had I not seen your tweet.
Thank you, Inside Amy Schumer internship, for giving me two seasons of related experience. The skills I learned as Production Intern, and later as Writing Intern, gave me a full picture of what it takes to produce a show. It also gave me experience documenting pitch meetings, researching sketches, and anticipating what the writers need before they ask.
Thank you, previous employment, for giving me valuable office skills to bring to the Writer’s Assistant position. Even though you had nothing to do with a career in TV, I am a pro at Microsoft Office and many other essentials, such as answering phones and troubleshooting stubborn copiers.
Thank you, Send to Friend button, for almost tricking me into inviting friends to apply to this job. I know Molly wants to be a writer’s assistant too, but I did not alert her to this opportunity. This was a great test to see how cutthroat I really am about this job.
Thank you, HarperCollins and Late Nite Labs, for helping me realize that my passion lied elsewhere. My respective roles as International Sales Rep and Marketing Manager taught me to effectively manage and multi-task, but let’s be honest—my heart was really in late night TV. I hope you’ll understand this one day.
Thank you, Bank of America Rewards Platinum Plus Visa, for continually allowing me to sign up for UCB classes, even before payday. These were essential in my development as a comedy writer, as well as a payer of bills.
Thank you, social skills, for equipping me to work with a wide variety of people. From interns to directors and executive producers, I feel confident working with colleagues of all levels and enjoy being a team player.
Thank you, 29, for being my age. You’ve given me enough rough and tumble to foster a mature perspective on the value of hard work and to appreciate how special the opportunity to work at The Tonight Show would be.
And finally, thank you, To Whom it May Concern, for being a periodic opportunity to Google “grammar who vs. whom.” Also, thank you for your time spent reading this cover letter and reviewing my resume. Feel free to contact me at your convenience. I look forward to speaking with you.